Building Your Dream Career: Part 1 - Define Your Priorities
"What's your dream job?"
It's a question we've all been asked, usually by well-meaning relatives at holiday dinners or career counselors armed with personality tests. And most of us have an answer ready: "Working at Google." "Being a VP at a Fortune 500 company." "Making $200k a year." "Having a job where I never have to work weekends."
But here's the problem with dream jobs: they're setting you up for disappointment before you even start.
I know this because three days ago, on Tuesday, my contract at what I thought was my "dream job" came to an end. The job I was excited about, the work I was passionate about, the team I enjoyed—gone, just like that. Not because I did anything wrong, not because the work wasn't valuable, but because that's tech in 2025. Job security basically doesn't exist anymore.
And you know what? I'm okay. Actually, I'm more than okay. I'm already looking forward to what's next.
Not because I'm in denial or because I'm pretending it doesn't hurt (it does), but because I stopped chasing dream jobs years ago and started building a dream career instead. This "loss" isn't a career catastrophe—it's just another stepping stone. And the next one might somehow be even better for me.
Let me explain why I think we need to completely reframe how we think about our professional aspirations, and more importantly, give you a practical framework for actually figuring out what you want from your career—one that can weather the storms of contract endings, layoffs, and the brutal realities of the modern tech job market.
📥 Work Through This With Me: Free Dream Career Priorities Worksheet
I've created a comprehensive worksheet to help you define your priorities as you read this post. It includes brainstorming lists of 60+ potential priorities, translation guides, templates organized by Maslow's hierarchy, and reflection questions.
No signup required. Completely free. You can fill it out digitally or print it.
Why "Dream Jobs" Are Actually Career Traps
There are two massive problems with the whole concept of dream jobs, and we need to address both before we can move forward.
Problem #1: Dream jobs aren't always within your power to keep.
Notice I said "keep," not "get." Because here's the hard truth about 2025: even if you land that specific role at that specific company doing that specific thing, there's no guarantee you'll still have it next year. Or even next quarter.
That perfect job might end because of:
Contract completions (hi, that was me on Tuesday)
Company layoffs (have you seen the tech industry lately?)
Team restructures
Budget cuts
Acquisitions that eliminate your role
Performance improvement plans that have nothing to do with your actual performance
A bad quarter and you're in the "last hired, first fired" bucket
The job market is brutal right now. Job security in tech is essentially a myth. Companies that seemed stable are doing massive layoffs. Contracts are ending without renewals. Even senior engineers with impressive resumes are struggling to land their next roles.
When you fixate on a single dream job, you're essentially building your entire professional identity and happiness on something that could disappear through no fault of your own. And when that job ends—either because of your choices or, more likely, because of factors completely outside your control—you feel like you've lost everything.
But here's the reframe that's keeping me sane right now: I don't have a dream job. I have a dream career.
A dream career is the big picture. It's a collection of roles, experiences, growth opportunities, and stepping stones that align with who you are and where you want to go. It offers flexibility. It offers grace for when life happens (or when your contract ends, or when your company does layoffs, or when the entire job market implodes).
It transforms every role from a binary success/failure into a valuable data point about what you want and what you're building toward.
My contract ending on Tuesday? In the "dream job" mindset, that's a devastating failure. In the "dream career" mindset, that's a data point. I learned what I loved about that role (the technical challenges, the team dynamics, the problem space). I learned what I want more or less of next time. I gained experience that makes me more valuable for the next opportunity.
And most importantly: one loss of a "dream job" doesn't mean my next stepping stone might not somehow be even better for me.
Maybe the next role will have better work-life balance. Maybe it'll pay more. Maybe it'll be in a problem space I find even more interesting. Maybe it'll have a team culture that's an even better fit. I don't know yet. But I'm open to finding out instead of mourning the loss of "the one perfect job."
Problem #2: We set completely unrealistic expectations for what dream jobs should be.
Let's get brutally honest about something: you will never find a job that never feels like work.
I know, I know. Instagram influencers and LinkedIn thought leaders love to talk about "finding work that doesn't feel like work" and "doing what you love so you never work a day in your life." It's a beautiful sentiment. It's also complete nonsense.
I loved the job I just lost. I was passionate about the work. I genuinely enjoyed the problems I got to solve. And you know what? There were still days when it absolutely felt like work. There were still meetings that drained my energy. There were still debugging sessions at 9 PM when I'd rather be literally anywhere else. There were still administrative tasks that needed to be done even though they were boring as hell.
Loving your job doesn't mean every single moment is euphoric. It means the overall trajectory feels right, the challenges energize you more than they drain you, and you're building something that matters to you.
If you're holding out for a job where every day feels like vacation, you're going to be perpetually disappointed. And worse, you might pass up genuinely good opportunities because they don't match your unrealistic fantasy.
Step 1: Define What Your Dream Career Actually Looks Like
So if we're not chasing specific dream jobs or expecting perpetual professional bliss, what are we doing?
We're getting real about what matters to us and building a career that honors those priorities—regardless of which specific job we're in at any given moment.
This is going to require some honest introspection, so grab that worksheet you downloaded (or grab a notebook if you prefer). We're going to build a framework that will guide every career decision you make from now on.
This framework is what's letting me move forward productively three days after my contract ended. It's what's helping me evaluate new opportunities based on what actually matters instead of desperately grabbing at whatever feels "safe" or "prestigious."
Start With Life Priorities, Not Job Priorities
First, forget about work for a minute. What matters most to you in life, period?
Your family? Your house? Your dog? Financial security? Making an impact? Being known for your success? Creative freedom? Living in a specific place? Having time for hobbies? Personal growth?
If you're using the worksheet, go to Part 1 now. You'll find a brainstorming list of 60+ potential life priorities organized by category—everything from financial security to creative freedom to location preferences. Circle or check off the ones that resonate with you. Add your own if something's missing.
Write down everything that comes to mind. Don't filter it yet. Don't worry about whether it sounds "impressive" or "right." Just brain dump all the things that matter to you.
Now, rank them.
This is harder than it sounds, and it should be. You're being forced to acknowledge that you care about some things more than others, which feels uncomfortable. But it's also crucial. Yes, you probably want all these things. But when push comes to shove and you have to make trade-offs (and you will), which ones are you willing to sacrifice and which ones are non-negotiable?
In the worksheet, go to Part 2 to rank your top 5-10 priorities.
My list looks something like this:
My family
Location (staying in the Pacific Northwest)
Giving back and having social impact
Constantly learning and being challenged
Room to grow professionally
Notice what's not on my list: company prestige, specific job titles, or hitting certain salary milestones. Those things can be nice, but they're not what drives my decisions.
And here's why this matters right now: when I look at my list, "working at [specific company]" isn't on it. That specific job ending doesn't threaten any of my actual priorities. I can still prioritize my family. I can still stay in the Pacific Northwest. I can still find work with social impact. I can still learn and grow.
The job changed. My priorities didn't.
Your list will look completely different, and it should.
Translate Life Priorities to Work Requirements
Now comes the interesting part: taking your life priorities and figuring out what they actually mean for your job.
In the worksheet, check out Part 3 for a detailed translation guide that shows how common life priorities map to specific job requirements. For example:
"My family" might translate to: flexible schedule, work-from-home options, limited travel, family leave policies
"Financial wealth" might translate to: high salary with specific minimum, equity/stock options, bonus potential
"Making impact" might translate to: mission-driven company, B-corp or nonprofit, product that helps people
Let's work through some key questions for common priorities:
If "family" is your top priority:
Do you need flexible hours for school pickups?
Do you need to be home for dinner most nights?
Do you need strong parental leave policies?
Do you need a salary that supports your family's needs?
What's the minimum salary threshold that would allow you to provide for your family comfortably?
If "financial wealth" is your priority:
What does "wealth" actually mean to you?
Is it $100k? $200k? $500k? Be specific.
Is it financial stability (bills paid, retirement funded, emergency fund for when contracts end unexpectedly) or true wealth accumulation?
Are you willing to sacrifice work-life balance for higher compensation?
What's your timeline for reaching this goal?
If "impact" is your priority:
What kind of impact? Technical innovation? Helping people directly? Environmental sustainability?
Does the company's mission need to align with your values?
Do you need to see the direct results of your work?
Is mentoring and teaching part of how you define impact?
If "growth" is your priority:
Do you need a structured career progression path?
Do you need access to learning resources and conferences?
Do you need to work with people more senior than you?
Does the company need to be at the cutting edge of your field?
If "stability" is your priority (and in 2025, this is worth discussing):
What does stability actually look like in an industry where job security barely exists?
Is it having 6 months of savings? A year?
Is it diversifying your skills so you're always marketable?
Is it building a strong network so you can land quickly when things go sideways?
Is it choosing companies with strong financials and diverse revenue streams?
Go through each item on your life priorities list and honestly translate it to concrete work requirements. Write them down in the worksheet. Be as specific as possible.
Once you've done this translation, rank these work requirements in the same order as your life priorities.
Congratulations. You now have a thorough, personalized list of what you're actually looking for in a job. Not what you think you should want. Not what looks impressive on LinkedIn. What genuinely matters to you.
And when the job market throws you a curveball—and in 2025's tech industry, it absolutely will—you'll have a framework for bouncing back instead of spiraling.
Ground It in Reality: The Hierarchy of Needs
Here's where we get practical. Because yes, most of us want all the things on our list. But let's be honest—we probably won't get all of them, at least not all at once.
This is where Maslow's hierarchy of needs comes in:
Self-Actualization
(Creativity, problem-solving, reaching potential)
Esteem
(Recognition, achievement, respect)
Belonging
(Relationships, teamwork, community)
Safety
(Job security, health, financial stability)
Physiological
(Salary to cover basic needs: food, shelter)You cannot build the top of the pyramid before the bottom. If you can't pay your bills, work-life balance won't make your life better. If you don't have job security (or at least financial cushion for when job security inevitably fails), prestige won't help you sleep at night.
This hierarchy becomes especially important when you're job searching after an unexpected contract ending or layoff. You might have been at the top of the pyramid in your last role—focusing on self-actualization, meaningful work, creative challenges. But if your emergency fund is running low, you might need to temporarily prioritize safety and physiological needs, which could mean taking a role that's "good enough" to buy you time to find the "right fit."
That's not failure. That's understanding which level of the pyramid you're currently operating on.
In the worksheet, Part 4 breaks down each hierarchy level with specific job requirement examples. For instance:
🔴 Physiological Needs: Base salary for rent/food/utilities, health insurance, basic benefits
🟠 Safety Needs: Job security (or financial cushion), emergency fund building, retirement savings, stable company financials
🟡 Belonging Needs: Positive team culture, mentorship, inclusive environment, workplace friendships
🟢 Esteem Needs: Recognition, career advancement, professional reputation, competitive salary (beyond basic needs)
🔵 Self-Actualization: Meaningful work, creative freedom, intellectual challenges, making an impact, reaching your potential
Now, go back to your work requirements list. For each item, identify which level of the hierarchy it fulfills. In the worksheet, you can color-code them or just note the category.
Once you've categorized everything, create a new list in Part 5 of the worksheet. Start with all your physiological needs items (keeping your original priority order within that category). Then add all your safety needs items. Then belonging, esteem, and finally self-actualization.
Your new list should be organized first by hierarchy level, then by your personal priorities within each level.
Your Non-Negotiables: Drawing the Line
Now you have a comprehensive, human-centered priority list for your career. This is powerful, but it's not quite complete.
The final step is identifying which items at the top of your list are truly non-negotiable.
Go to Part 6 of the worksheet to define these.
How many? That's personal. For some people, it's the top three things. For others, it's the top ten. The key is being honest about what you absolutely need versus what you'd like to have.
My non-negotiables are:
Salary sufficient to support my family (and build back my emergency fund after this contract ending)
Location flexibility (staying in the Pacific Northwest or remote)
Reasonable work-life balance (not missing every family dinner)
Everything else? Nice to have, definitely preferred, but negotiable if the role is otherwise right.
Notice that "job security" isn't on my non-negotiables list. That's because I've accepted that it basically doesn't exist in tech anymore. Instead, I've focused on the things I can control: financial cushion, marketable skills, and a strong network.
Your non-negotiables might be completely different:
"I need at least $X salary"
"I need to work remotely"
"I need clear promotion paths"
"I need a strong DEI commitment"
"I need to work on problems with social impact"
"I need a company with at least Y years of runway" (very reasonable in 2025)
Circle or highlight these non-negotiables in your worksheet. These are your floor. These are what you don't compromise on, even when the job market is tough or when you're three days out from an unexpected contract ending and feeling pressure to accept the first offer that comes along.
What You've Just Created
Look at what you have now (compiled in Part 7 of the worksheet):
A clear understanding of your life priorities
Those priorities translated into concrete work requirements
Everything organized by both human needs and personal importance
A defined set of non-negotiables
This isn't just a wish list. This is your career compass.
This list will guide you through:
Evaluating job offers (especially when you're emotionally vulnerable after a loss)
Deciding whether to leave your current job
Negotiating for what matters to you
Identifying which opportunities to pursue
Recognizing when you're compromising on things that matter
Bouncing back when jobs end unexpectedly
And here's the beautiful part: this list will change throughout your life and career, and that's not just okay—it's expected.
Right out of college, salary might be your top priority because you have student loans to pay. Ten years later, flexible hours for your kids might become non-negotiable. Twenty years in, meaningful work and legacy might top your list.
The list evolves as you evolve. That's the whole point of building a dream career instead of chasing a dream job.
Parts 8 and 9 of the worksheet have reflection questions and action items to help you think through how you'll use this framework and what your next steps are.
The Foundation Is Set (And Why It Matters Right Now)
You've done the hard work of understanding what you actually want from your career. You've moved past the fantasy of a perfect dream job that you'll have forever (because let's be real, that doesn't exist in 2025) and built something more realistic and more powerful: a framework for making decisions that honor who you are and what matters to you.
This framework is what's letting me look at new opportunities with clarity instead of desperation. It's what's helping me recognize that losing one specific job doesn't mean losing my career trajectory. It's what's reminding me that the next stepping stone might actually be better than the last one—different challenges, better fit, new growth opportunities.
Because that's the thing about dream careers: they're built from multiple jobs, multiple experiences, multiple "this wasn't quite right" and "this was better than expected" moments. Losing one job doesn't derail the whole thing. It just redirects you.
In Part 2, we'll take this foundation and translate it into a strategic approach for actually finding opportunities that align with these priorities, especially in tough job markets. We'll talk about how to research companies that are actually stable (or as stable as anything can be in tech), identify roles that fit your framework, and position yourself to land work that moves you toward your dream career.
But for now, sit with what you've discovered about yourself. Refine your list. Add to it. Challenge your assumptions. Make sure it's actually yours, not what you think it should be.
Because you can't build your dream career if you don't know what it looks like. And when the inevitable curveballs come—contract endings, layoffs, restructures—you'll need this compass to find your way forward.
Trust me. I'm using mine right now.
📥 Don't Have the Worksheet Yet?
Download the Dream Career Priorities Worksheet
Work through this entire framework with step-by-step guidance, brainstorming lists, and reflection questions. No signup required.
What surprised you most about your priorities list? Did anything that you thought was important fall lower than expected? I'd love to hear what you discovered—especially if you're also navigating the 2025 job market chaos. Connect with me on LinkedIn or follow @code_with_kate for more real talk about building careers that can weather the storms.
Coming up in Part 2: "From Priorities to Prospects: How to Actually Find Jobs That Match Your Framework (Even When the Market Is Terrible)" - where we'll turn your career compass into an actionable job search strategy for 2025's reality.
